Monday, 1 April 2013

Panda Pride! Comes to Brighton Fringe Festival 2013

Ahoy there! 

Prepare to be boarded as giant pandas invade Brighton Fringe Festival for some May mayhem!

Here's the poster which the pandas are trying to put up almost everywhere in Brighton and Hove, but they're a lazy lot (sleeping up to 18 hours a day), so if you could lend them a paw by downloading and displaying or sharing on social media sites, that would be tickety-boo, ta very much!

Better still, come along and meet BamBam and BooBoo! Fri 10th - Sun 12th May 2013 at Hanover Community Centre, showtime 8pm. Tickets here. PG rated as very small children may be mistaken for water rats and eaten. : - )

The panda Twitter stream is @PandaPride13 using the hashtag: #PandaPride13


Thursday, 7 February 2013

Pandas are ludicrous creatures

Giant pandas are ludicrous creatures. They turned themselves from meat eaters into vegetarians who have to chomp on one of the world's least nutritious plants (bamboo) for up to 16 hours a day to gain enough sustenance, they climb trees but can't climb down so land on their heads as a means of getting down, they are lazy, they eat their own poo and they hate sex.

So how come Darwinism hasn't got them yet?

Despite not having much more than black and white fur to scare off predators and often being too fat to run away, luckily pandas are large enough to have no real predators in China other than man, who presumably finds them too meltingly cute to shoot, much though man has encroached on their habitat over the years meaning fewer bamboo-rich mountainsides.

And just as British monarchs have always favoured the swan as a royal symbol, pandas found patrons in the Emporers of China, who evidently found them as as aaaaaaawwwww-inspiring as we do and helped shield them from the rest of the world until the early 20th century.